My Comfort Zone

I have just been thinking a lot about how I need to get something down on this blog that really conveys some of the thoughts and emotions I have been having down here.  We have been having some really wonderful experiences with really great people but it has not been all fun and games.  I wanted to be brutally honest about some of the challenges I have been wrestling with personally.

Let me first say something about comfort.  (I have been continuing a study of the book of Daniel that I had begun with a group of my sisters from our church back home and I cannot believe how timely it has been.)  I am sure every person I know can relate to my search for comfort and security in this earthly life.  Where do we find this?  For me, it usually comes from my home, relationships with my friends, my family, things around me that are familiar.  Oh, and did I mention, having things clean?  I really, really find comfort and security in having a clean home environment.  I am quick to pick up the phone when I just need to connect.  When things are feeling really out of control, I generally start cleaning something.  So this being said, I am a little out of my comfort zone down here at times.  (This may be putting it lightly).

I need a new place to look for my comfort zone.  When the mosquitoes are biting, the cockroaches are running, the washing machine doesn’t work, the water out of the tap cannot be drunk, I cannot pick up the phone to call my friend or my mom, I cannot go on a run with my friend, and I do not have all my “stuff” around me—like my cupboard full of ingredients for baking something–it is time to find something else.  (Thank you, Rebecca, for letting me use your washing machine and your kitchen to bake in.  And thank you, Mom, for suggesting I bring some cleaning supplies along on this trip.)

This is why the Lord has me right here, right now.  I needed to be stripped of all the things I usually find comfort and security in so that I could begin to search for Him in the midst of where I find myself.  He is still right here, right now, waiting for me to realize that this is all He ever really wanted—to be my Comfort, my Friend, my Security, my Everything.

Emily Baginski